Practical Joke and the New Nurse

ER doctors and nurses often revert to childish behavior to deal with stress, and one of my colleagues, Dr. Bob, is especially notorious.  He has been known to play practical jokes on the nurses, particularly if they are new.

One night, a brand new nurse named Jill was working with Dr. Bob, and he decided that he would give her a special “welcome.”  He asked Dana, one of the more experienced nurses, to be his accomplice.

First, Dr. Bob found a clear, plastic specimen cup with a lid.  He put about a tablespoon of creamy vegetable soup inside.  He added a bit of ketchup, and stirred.  The result was pretty gross looking stuff.  When Jill was standing at the nurses station, Dana called out, “Hey Dr. Bob, you want me to send this sputum sample up to the lab?”  She held the container up for him to see.

Dr. Bob said, “Hang on, let me see that.”  He took the cup and held it up to the light.  Jill watched this with a puzzled expression.  Then, he unscrewed the lid and looked inside.  Jills eyes at this point got very big, and she looked concerned.

Then, Dr. Bob took a long sniff of the specimen.  At this point, Jill literally took a few steps backwards, trying to distance herself from what was clearly a crazy person.

Then Dr. Bob did the unthinkable.  With a quick flick of the wrist, he swallowed the sputum sample like it was a shot of whisky.

Jill, completely aghast, fell right down onto the linoleum floor with an expression of horror on her face.  The other nurses who were in on the gag were having a hard time holding it together at that point.

But Dr. Bob, straight faced, said “No, I think it’s just bronchitis.”