Lewis Black recently lamented the fact that in celebration of Earth Day, no one ever gets Mother Earth what it really wants–for all of us to die! Perhaps she will be somewhat mollified with a new and apparently more serious version of swine flu, that has been causing some impressive outbreaks lately. I admit I am not an expert on swine flu, or swine, but I do have two daughters whose bedroom reminds me often of a swine pen. Therefore I feel qualified to summarize some pertinent information about swine flu here:
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1) Swine flu is similar to other influenza viruses, but in the past has not caused much in the way of human illness.
2) This new swine flu seems to be worse, and more likely to infect humans.
3) The media will scare us all about it.
4) Current vaccines are unlikely to be helpful against swine flu, but perhaps antiviral medications would be helpful.
5) Careful hygiene practices should be used to avoid getting infected.
6) Calling someone a “swine” is now even more derogatory than before.
I for one, am suffering from an overload of global crises at this moment, and therefore cannot expend anymore mental or emotional energy worrying about swine flu. I will therefore leave it in my mental crisis inbasket along with bird flu, killer bees, muslim extremism, illegal immigration and stagflation
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One of our more commonly seen fractures is the appropriately named “Boxer’s fracture.” This results from punching objects, usually a wall, sometimes another person’s face. The hand is broken at the neck of the pinky metacarpal bone, just before the big knuckle. One recent sufferer from this injury is a young man who I know well. However, he did not punch a wall, or a person’s face. No, he punched his friend’s butt. Yes, that’s right. I thought I’d seen it all. All I know is, I wish my butt was firm enough to cause hand fractures, but sadly, punching it would barely result in a sprain.
Perhaps my least favorite thing about my job is 
