As a follow up to my recent post election depression article, I saw this funny spoof on another ER Blog on depression and wanted to share it.
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From the monthly archives:
November 2008
Methamphetamines (aka Meth)Drugs can make people do some amazing, incomprehensible things, and sometimes you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
One night, a phone call was directed to the ER by the hospital operator, who said, “I don’t know who else can help these people.”
Not good.
The call was from two men sitting in the hospital parking lot in a car, and they were clearly distraught. They spoke very quickly and and hysterically. They stated that they were infected by some kind of bugs, and didn’t want to infect anyone else by coming inside.
I certainly appreciated their desire to not make anyone else ill, but explained there was very little we could do over the phone. They both agreed to come in eventually, but made us agree to wear protective gowns and masks. We were only too happy to comply.
When they stepped in through the ambulance doors, I could not believe my eyes. They were both wrapped head to toe in aluminum foil. Apparently they had decided that the foil would protect themselves and us from the “bugs.”
As it turned out, these men had been smoking methamphetamines for days on end. They had become very paranoid, and began picking at their skin, as methamphetamine users tend to do. Each person made the other more paranoid until they both were convinced that they were seeing bugs underneath their skin crawling around, which only made them pick and scratch more. They both were covered with many sores all over their skin from all the scratching. I sincerely wish that anyone considering meth use could have seen the sorry state of these unfortunate men. If that didn’t stop them from using meth, I’m not sure what would.
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On just about every shift, I see patients who do not want to be admitted to the hospital.
They come up with just about every excuse you can think of. This site had a vigorous discussion on patients and their excuses for avoiding admission.
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Q:
Dear ER Doc,
I’ve been seeing green tea diets all over the internet and I’m wondering if doctors are recommending them. Â How much tea should I drink?
Jan
Chicago, Illinois
Â
A:
Dear Jan,
I’ve been seeing a lot of information about green tea diets myself, and not all of it is based on good science. Â However, there has been some research, and the results are interesting. Â One study of Japanese adults showed lower death rates among those who drank 5 or more cups of green tea per day.
Other studies have shown that green tea may cause improvement in the metabolism of fat, and perhaps this may help with weight loss. Â A recent study on mice with an obesity gene showed some weight loss with green tea extract mixed into their food. Â It is important to realize that there has been no definitive study in humans at this point. Â Also, there can be side effects from green tea, or its extract, so it’s important to talk to your doctor before starting a green tea diet.
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It’s over people!
With the longest Presidential campaign in recent history over, we can all breath a sigh of relief!
Or can we?
Some will inexplicably not feel relief, but will find themselves with a case of the blues. Others will feel anxious and a few will be downright depressed. A lot of this will depend on whether your choice of President won the election, or if you feel the winner is a complete knucklehead. But for many of us, the pre-election season has been an ordeal, and now that it is over, there will be a void that is not easily filled. As always, my interest is primarily keeping you healthy and out of the ER, especially since I’ve got some night shifts coming up and would like to get some sleep, so here’s a couple tips.
1. Don’t turn to alcohol. This won’t help at all, may result in a fall, car crash, fight, or at best a hangover. So please, if you must drown your sorrows, how about a nice fruit smoothie?
2. Don’t just sit around watching TV. There’s nothing good on, and you should be getting some exercise to avoid a stroke or heart attack anyway.
3. Don’t complain about politics to your friends and loved ones. They will resent you for this, and you will be left alone to stew in your own juices. Then you will turn to alcohol (see #1).
4. Go see your primary physician and tell them all about your feelings. They want to know all the details. (just don’t tell them I sent you.)
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